Caring for loved ones that are aging or suffering from a debilitating disease is a task that many people are willing to take on. Despite the heartache and burdens that are sure to come, the loyalty felt towards another can be more than enough to make any sacrifice worthwhile. But there is often a hitch, request may be made to stay out of nursing and assisted living facilities which can impose a harsh duty on potential caregivers. The choice can put those tasked with the caring into a difficult position as they are faced with honoring their loved one’s wishes even when taking care of the person is no longer practical. As a result, abuse, driven from feeling trapped in a difficult situation, can increase as well as neglect when the limits of what can be done by the caretaker are reached. Because of these difficult facts, it is always a good idea to be honest between those in need and those that will carry the burden about lines that, if crossed, will trigger a change. No matter how much someone wants an arrangement to continue, eventually specialized care might be needed and making sure that both parties are prepared for the potential for change will only make the situation better and allow everyone to mentally prepare for what may come.
See Tara Bahrampour, ‘Promise you’ll never put me in a nursing home’, The Washington Post, February 8, 2016.
Special thanks to Naomi Cahn for bringing this article to my attention.
