The task you shouldn’t put off

[Special thanks to Joel C. Dobris (Professor of Law, UC Davis School of Law) for bringing this article to my attention.]

Seven years ago, after her husband of 28 years died suddenly, a woman found herself sitting at her kitchen table with her nearly grown children and her rabbi, repeating the same question: “What do I do now?”

Her rabbi asked if she meant spiritually. But that wasn’t what she was asking.

She meant the practical things. How does someone suddenly take over the finances, accounts, and responsibilities that another person had always handled?

As an editor, she was comfortable with words. Numbers, on the other hand, intimidated her. Finances felt overwhelming, so she had always left them to her husband. He knew the accounts, the passwords, and the institutions they relied on. She didn’t. She knew him, and for years that felt like enough, until it wasn’t.

Her situation turned out to be more common than she realized. A 2024 survey of 1,000 U.S. adults found that only three in ten people believed their partner could easily access their online accounts if they died, and half said they had financial accounts their partner didn’t know about. Another survey found that only 20 percent of couples say they make financial decisions together.

What she eventually learned is that managing finances doesn’t require loving numbers. It simply requires knowing where things are, who to call, and how to access your own accounts.

Grief is already overwhelming. Being unprepared only makes it harder.

The lesson is simple: don’t wait. Talk about finances, share account information, and make decisions together. Hope for the future, but make sure you’re prepared for anything.

For more information see Sheryl Miller “The task you shouldn’t put off,” Axios, Febraury 26, 2026.