Proper Funeral Etiquette

Tumblr has a Selfies atFunerals page that contains a collection of cell phone self-portraits takenduring memorial services.  Thisinsensitive practice raises the question of what exactly is proper funeraletiquette.  Lizzie Post of the Emily PostInstitute provides some answers.

First of all, she says selfies at a funeral are never OK andphotos in general are probably not a good idea on this somber day. As forclothing, it’s still best to stick with darker colors when attending a funeral.

A basic phrase for comfort is “I’m so sorry for your loss.”  Including a fond memory will usually comfortthose closet to the departed as well. Avoid saying things like “I hope he had life insurance,” “it was timefor him to go,” and “he suffered so much.” Also, instead of vague offers like “call me if you need anything,”extend a specific offer like “I’d love to cook for you next week” or “would youlike me to take care of the kids during the funeral?”

Regarding food, it’s up to the host to decide whether to servefood or not.  Try to get a feel for howthe memorial service is set up before bringing food.  And finally, turn that cell phone off! 

SeeMelonyce McAfee, Long Live Etiquette:‘Selfies at Funerals’ on Tumblr Must Die, CNN, Oct. 30, 2013.