When Choosing a Guardian, Should Those Not Chosen Be Told?

For parents of minor children, one important aspect of a will is to designate guardianship for the children in the event that both parents pass away while the children are still minors. This difficult and personal decision is complicated when family members or friends that expect to be the chosen guardians are not the designated guardians that the parents choose.

There are conflicting opinions on how to handle this issue. One perspective is that honesty is always the best policy, and the individual or individuals expecting to be designated should be informed that they are not. Another perspective is that since a guardianship directive in a will only goes into effect in a limited circumstance that may never happen, it is best to only tell those that are chosen to be guardians and not the rest of interested individuals. This perspective is based on the desire to not cause harm to the personal relationship with those not designated.

See Carolyn Hax, Carolyn Hax: Should Couple Explain to Kin Their Will’s Directive on Guardianship?, The Washington Post, Oct. 29m 2014.

Special thanks to Naomi Cahn (Harold H. Greene Professor of Law, George Washington University School of Law) for bringing this article to my attention.