Children who tend to be the greatest siphon on their parents’ wealth are those who fail to become self-sustaining as adults. The best time to teach children that self-sufficiency is a non-negotiable requirement occurs when they are young. As parents get closer to retirement, or have stopped working entirely, the opportunity to engage effectively with parasitic off-spring is decreased. Barbara Schelhorn, working at Sullivan, Bruyette, Speros & Blayney, recognizes that when parents have difficulty refusing their adult child’s requests for cash, it may be because they have an overriding desire to please. “They want their children to love them and to view them as a good mother or a good father,” Barbara says. “Every parent wants that, of course, but when that desire is too strong, when the relationship is out of balance, there are going to be problems.” When dealing with a financially needy child, it is important for parents to ask if their giving is hurting their own financial future and if the money is actually doing any good. The answers to these questions may be a good indication that it is time to seek financial advice from a professional who can provide some possible solutions.
See Greg Sullivan, When Adult Children Wreck Parents’ Retirement, Financial Advisor, March 1, 2018.
Special thanks to Jim Hillhouse (Professional Legal Marketing (PLM, Inc.) for bringing this article to my attention.
