For older women with money, it’s yes to love but ‘I don’t’ to marriage

There is a growing trend among older women, particularly those with financial independence, to choose not to marry. Despite maintaining romantic relationships, many women, including widows, divorcées, and professionals with substantial wealth, are unwilling to merge their assets through marriage legally. Approximately one-third of the 22 million U.S. households with a net worth of $1 million or more are led by women, often achieving this milestone by age 58. The shift is attributed to these women being the first generation to accumulate significant wealth in 401(k) plans. They question the necessity of giving up financial autonomy in the name of marriage. 

For example, a 65-year-old doctor named Christen, who is financially independent. Despite being in a committed relationship for over a decade, she and her partner choose not to marry, citing reasons such as tax implications, maintaining separate homes, and preserving their respective inheritances for their children.

Financial considerations, including Social Security benefits, retirement benefits, alimony payments, and health insurance coverage, play a crucial role in the decision-making process. Often seeking advice from financial advisers, older women grapple with societal expectations and the pros and cons of marriage regarding their money. Some opt for legal alternatives to address financial questions, while others may marry for religious, moral, or ethical reasons, exploring ways to protect their assets through trusts. The author acknowledges that love-driven decisions may overlook critical financial aspects, prompting some individuals to reconsider the traditional institution of marriage.

For more information, see Roxanne Roberts “For older women with money, it’s yes to love but ‘I don’t’ to marriage”, The Washington Post, January 16, 2024.

Special thanks to Joel C. Dobris (Professor of Law, UC Davis School of Law) for bringing this article to my attention.